The past six weeks have been challenging and faith-stretching. October brought lots of computer problems and a full week of bed-ridden illness. November brought us to a new level of honesty, complete with intense team conflict. But our God is a God of redemption and restoration!
Being confined to one's bed, in constant agony, weaving in and out of consciousness is enough to humble even the proudest people-pleaser. I felt terrible for an entire week, and the list of things I was supposed to be doing and people I was letting down grew every hour. I was miserable, physically, emotionally, and even spiritually. I was upset with my body for freaking out over what we now know was simply the tap water; I hate the weakness it reveals. And I was upset at myself for worrying so much about work, as if the Lord couldn't do His work without me. And I was upset with the Lord for not giving me a stomach of steal and for humbling me in such an intense way.
The very next week, our awesome US coach, Lois, made a visit. She brought joy and encouragement... and lots of fun surprises from home! It was during her visit, though, that things hit the fan, so to speak. A huge pile of sin and unresolved conflict and hurt surfaced, and it took the full week to sift through it all. My American teammates and I were hurt by the accusations and the lack of healthy communication. I personally felt like I was being mauled by an angry bear as I tried to remove a thorn from its paw. Praise God (I guess) for lots of experience on disfunctional, unhealthy teams. I found myself rejoicing over the painful past experiences that prepared me to deal with these issues with wisdom. A lot of tears were still shed, and I think the hard conversations will need to continue, but I saw the Lord come through for us.
Sincere apologies were made. Relationships were restored. Grace and truth were dished out. And the Gospel was brought to life. At our end of semester party, we were able to truly rejoice. We said goodbye to Taffy and Gracious, who have faithfully served with Cru in Botswana for five years, rebuilding the ministry from the ground up. We laughed and danced and ate really good food and celebrated all the Lord has done. |
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